Which animal communication type are you?

Hey,

I hope you are safe and well. It's been madness here at Lambert Towers, as such I will be taking a break from the Meeting Notes newsletter for two weeks.

In this week's newsletter, to align to the newly revamped Communication Super Power Course, I'll be sharing some insights about communication from the Animal Communication Types!

Which one are you?

For those new to the Meeting Notes newsletter, welcome, I’m Rob, Chief Animal Management Officer at Cultivated Management. This newsletter is about mastering the art of communication and creativity - and cultivating a bright future of work.

Animal types - rapport

This idea of animal types to represent communication styles comes from a wonderful book called Rapport: The Four Ways to Read People (affiliate link - privacy policy).

This book is a cracker, and in the book, the authors (Laurence Alison and Emily Alison), through research (forensic psychology), have identified four communication styles, which they have assigned animals to:

● The Lion

● The T-Rex

● The Mouse

● The Monkey

The idea here is that each of these animal characteristics are related to similar communication characteristics.

These animals allow us to discover and identify our “default” style (or preference as I would call it).

By knowing our default preference, we can learn to understand the pros and cons of our communication style.

The Lion represents control
The Mouse represents capitulation
The T-Rex represents confrontation
The Monkey represents co-operation

Importantly, using this model we can also learn to identify other people’s animal style and adjust accordingly depending on our purpose and context, and how we may be feeling - after all, our mood and emotions play a large part in how effective our communication is.

Let's jump into some further ideas around these animal styles.

Lion

The Lion animal type is considered to be an assertive and confident style - you are in control of yourself - and to some extent, the situation also.

Lions are decisive, imposing and considered natural leaders. The Lion is used to represent strong, assertive, direct but empathetic communication.

The Lion is the leadership style. It is firm and more direct. We may call this a “hard” communication style. In some respects, at least from my experience of running hundreds of communication workshops, this is the style many people “wish” they could develop.

The Lion stands up for themselves, and others. They are confident and assertive, both traits that many people wish to develop further.

Imagine a strong person in a meeting who is able to exude presence, doesn't let their emotions overwhelm them and is clear in what they want, but not at the expense of other people. This is the animal type I try to convey whenever possible. It isn't about control of other people - it is about control over our own impulses, natural responses to situations and our words and body language.

We are confident, assertive and listening to others. We are not easily pushed over and the words we choose carry weight and meaning. No fillers, no umms, no ahhs, no apologies when they're not needed (and yes, apologies when they are needed). This is the communication style of someone who is at ease with themselves, their abilities, their needs and has a deep understanding of other people.

T-Rex

The T-Rex is used to represent a dominating, powerful, controlling, aggressive and forceful style. And in this sentence I am indeed refering to this style as aiming to control other people through sheer force of voice, language, body language and character.

They are the dangerously emotional character we've all worked with who has little control over their emotional reaction and drives fear into all who work with them. There are plenty of these people in our workplaces.

Consider this style an in-your-face kind of approach.

A T-Rex is someone who doesn’t seem to consider other people and goes after what they want with confronting words and body language. They leave a trail of human devastation behind them.

This is a fighting style with aggression and confrontation at the forefront. It’s probably reasonable to say that we certainly shouldn’t aim for this style. If we find ourselves in T-Rex mode, what’s wrong?

Maybe we need some time out to rest, regain our composure and aim to get on top of what is causing this style. Of course, some people are like this all the time - it's their natural style - in which case, considerable work should be done to round off those rough edge, appreciate other people and get that approach in check. Very little good comes from behaving like a T-Rex.

Mouse

The mouse is used to represent a quiet and shy style of communication; someone who capitulates easily under the force of other people.

“Quiet as a mouse” comes to mind here.

This could also be considered a meek, careful and cautious approach to behaviours and communication. It’s my experience that many people who want to develop their communication skills, wish to develop away from being a mouse.

When I run the Communication Workshop this is very often the one style that comes forth from many people. They want to learn how to move from a mouse to a lion. They want to be heard and be listened to - and to be able to articulate their ideas and thoughts with confidence and clarity. And of course, to be able to deal with other communication styles with ease and care.

I was quiet as a mouse many years ago and it drove me mad. I had great ideas and ways to make the business better but I was shot down and couldn't argue my case in a careful way. I would switch between the mouse and T-Rex when my emotions got the better of me. Not only was this ineffective but it left me feeling under-utilised and under-valued.

There are times to be a mouse, like when a T-Rex is around (unless you want to fight) - although the Lion style may be more contextually appropriate. Sometimes there is a time to let someone rage and have their soap box moment - to not challenge or confront or question (Mouse). Sometimes there is a need to respond with confidence and assertiveness (Lion).

And a mouse may be your natural style. But the mouse is often spoken over or goes unheard; that doesn’t mean they don’t have something important to say.

Monkey

The monkey is used to represent a sociable, energetic and personable communication style. They are the cooperative type.

The monkey style is playful, creative and fun, and these people displaying this style tend to get on well with many different types of people. They are sociable and interactive, and laced with positivity and warmth. Not that monkeys up close are friendly by the way…..

The monkey is a little jokey and certainly on the joyful side. They are quick to find middle ground and bring people together. They are able to communicate with many types of people. This is my default style - so I work hard to adapt my style to be more like a Lion - especially in work, but always relying on this Monkey style to bring people together. Context is king.

The challenge with the monkey style is adapting it for when warmth, smiles and happiness are not required, nor appropriate to the context.

Animal conflict

Given this basic summary it's pretty obvious that conflicts will occur when people are brought together in workplace settings. Everyone will sit somewhere in these four categories, like DISC, they are likely spread amongst more than one.

As such, there is a need, again, like DISC, to alter our style for the purpose, audience and context we find ourselves in.

Tools like this are super helpful in discovering our own preferences and natural styles. We can then use our learning and understanding, like the information in the Comms Workshop, to discover ways to move styles.

It is possible to alter our core behaviours to move permanently to be a more confident and assertive communicator - I've done this, but we can also develop the skills to move around when needed in the current situation.

We will probably be able to quickly identify someone we work with as having a clear style of Lion, T-Rex, Monkey or Mouse. We will likely identify ourselves quite clearly with one style over another.

Equally, we all have communication behaviours we can point at that allow us to move around the styles, or situations that make us revert back to a style that is more comfortable.

In my early days of leadership I would revert quite quickly to a mouse when the CEO was present. For some reason he brought out the meek and shy version of me, yet others didn't.

These are all clues and opportunities to learn how to communicate more effectively and move our behaviours towards the style we want to develop, or the style we need to learn how to play.

We will move around these animal styles, sometimes very frequently but we will typically have one dominating type.

When we interact with someone who is a different animal style to our own, we must learn to flex and modify our communication approach for effective communication to happen. We must also pay attention to the context the communication is happening in, and the purpose, and adjust accordingly.

There is no right or wrong animal to be, although some animal types would be preferable than others in our everyday life, looking at you Lion.

Many people would class themselves as a mouse but would wish to be more like a Lion.
It’s likely no-one would want to be like a T-Rex, but we may slip into this when we lose our temper.
If you’re a mouse and you’re talking to a Lion or T-Rex, you’ll likely get shut down, ignored and trampled over.
If two T-rex styles are in a room - good luck.

This Animal model is a useful construct to discover which style you are most naturally like, which one you may wish to develop your communication skills to become, and which styles may be most appropriate for different contexts.

By understanding these animal types, we can quickly ascertain who we’re communicating with, and knowing our natural style, decide whether we should adapt in that context.

The answer to whether to adapt our natural style in any context is typically always a YES!

In the Communication Super Power coursebook I dig deeper into knowing ourselves, and adopting our styles, using my preferred self discovery tool of choice DISC. But, this animal model is a good introduction to a different communication tool and how to learn more about yourself.

You see that's the key to effective communication; it's not to become like everyone else - it's to deeply know yourself, know what you want to achieve and then learn how to bridge the communication gap between the two.

Until next time.

Rob..

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